WOULD SELL MY SOUL FOR SOME SLEEP!!!
Okay, I know I have already complained about my inability to sleep, in my posts about the sleep study and its results. But in the last week I could probably count the hours of sleep that I have gotten on my fingers. I thought four hours a night was bad, but this is just ridiculous. I am so tired, my body is exhausted and I am getting very irritable. The smallest things make me want to snap. I dont like this, I hate being mean, I like nice acie only. So hopefully tonight, will be the night the sleep fairy visits and I can go back to being happy tomorrow.

TODAY IS SPRING!!!
In case you didn't know today is the first day of spring. Which hopefully means better weather, no snow and more sun. Hurray for spring. We just need to get through april showers, then bring on sun. Oh, how I can't wait for the sun and warm weather.

SOME GIRLS HAVE ALL THE LUCK!!! I am going to start this post by saying I have the greatest sister ever. She is kind, sweet, honest (sometimes brutally, but eveyone needs to hear certian things every once and a while), funny, out going and loving. We have a great relationship, that has only gotten better as we have got older and have matured. Anyways, she is also a very lucky girl. She has the greatest partner ever. She has been dating Jay for almost 8 years, since grade 9 and eventhough they have definately experienced their share of difficulties they have managed to stick together through thick and thin. She is his number one. He cares for her and loves her the way that everyone should be loved, with respect, honesty and care. I always say, I couldn't of picked a better partner for her if I tried. I love Jay and he is just as much a part of my family, then any of us are. He also spoils her rotten. Clothing, dinners, movies, gifts and now a trip to the Dominican. They leave this sunday and she just found out this week. Although I am a tiny bit bitter, as I would love to go somewhere warm to get a way from this weather, I am happy for her. But what I am most happy about, is the person I care the most about in the world has someone, who is madly in love with her and always there for her.

"A MILLION LITTLE PIECES" - James Fry
"The Young Man came to Old Man seeking counsel.
I broke something, Old Man.
How badly is it broken?
It's in a million little pieces.
I'm afraid I can't help you.
Why?
There's nothing you can do.
Why?
It can't be fixed.
Why?
It's broken beyond repair. It's in a million little pieces"

I have just finished reading this book and loved it! To me the contraversy and everything that has been said about Frey making it up didn't matter. I won't give too much away for those who still want to read it, but I will say this. This book lets you get into the mind of someone who is addicted. Every thought, physical and emotional feeling that goes on in ones head and body, is said in this book. It gave me a greater understanding of what the drive, motivation and thoughts are behind using dangerous substances. This book is as much about addiction as it is about re-building. Re-building his life, relationships at the treatment centre, letting go and working through past pain. Its a book that reminds the audience, that even when things feel like they are at there worst, you're life feels fragmented and broken, it can be repaired, fixed and better.

SLEEP STUDY RESULTS...

Okay, so I went for my consult for the sleep study that I had done a couple weeks ago. And most of the stuff they told me, I already knew. However, they did tell me something interesting that I was unaware of. Apparently I have what they call periodic limb movement. Which pretty much means I run a marathon when I am sleeping or lying awake in bed. During the study, they monitored my leg movements and it turns out I kick or move my legs 30 to 45 times in an hour. This often wakes me up and when it doesnt it affects the type of sleep I do get. There are four levels of sleep and I rarely get to level 3 and never to level 4, which is the deep sleep that repairs tissue damage and helps one to feel rested when they wake up. So no wonder I have been so tired and unable to sleep through the night. It also explains some of the pain in my legs that I have been experiencing. The doctor ended up giving me a low dose of a drug they use to treat parkenson's. I guess it is suppose to reduce the number of leg movements that I have. Hopefully it helps, and I can start sleeping more then 2 to 3 hours a night. That would be wonderful. Also, I no longer have to feel gulity about not exercising enough, because apparently I do enough of that at night.

AHHHHH, I AM SICK!!!
So many of my friends have been sick over the last couple of weeks and I thought I sucessfully avoided all of their illnesses. But I guess I was wrong. Since tuesday I have been battling a cold. But in the last couple of days, that cold has turned into horrible congestion and I have been waking up having a hard time breathing. Not fun. And turns out I have this entire weekend off. I cant remember the last time I had both a sat and a sun off in the same week. But it looks like I will be spending it in bed. I swear I have the greatest luck. Hopefully, rest will be key in helping me to feel better. I am off to bed.